There Was The Expected Amount Of Creepiness At Michael Jackson’s Memorial

Smokey_at_Memorial

Don’t get me wrong, it’s only right to pay tribute to an innovator and entertainer that was as influential on pop culture as Michael Jackson. But you’re going to have a weird time when the deceased was, let’s put it plainly, a lunatic. A lunatic whose drug consumption was rampant and which led him to admit that he saw nothing wrong with sharing his bed with young boys even as he was publicly accused (and went on trial for) diddling. As we already knew by his appearance, something was wrong with MJ.

The memorial had some high points. I have to give credit to John Mayer (which is difficult for me seeing as he’s dreadful) and Jennifer Hudson for turning in some nice performances of Michael’s music. Look for those in iTunes. Brooke Shields seemed oddly broken up about losing the man who used her for a beard way back when. Please, girl, there is no way those two were fuckin’. But then the coffin looked like this. And was wheeled on-stage. Did Glinda die, too? Solid gold? With his money troubles?

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And then randoms like Texas Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee used her governmental superpowers to declare that MJ was innocent of any and all charges for the rest of time. Forward to 1:12. Well that’s all well and good, but he wasn’t innocent of being creepy and was this really the place to absolve him of all sins. Man, do we saintify the dead in the country or what?

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Then we come to Usher. Now I haven’t liked this dildo since he made some foolish homophobe comments awhile back. Then I saw him try for the Oscar yesterday. There is nothing worse than some diva trying to yank out the tear fakery. This slut thinks he’s the next MJ. You ain’t bad,you ain’t nuthin’!

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But the part that made me the most uncomfortable was the terrifying “We Are The World” sing-a-long at the end. I know it’s good to come together to say goodbye. But everything felt so…Vegasy….musical theatre….and attention-starved. Some of these Jacksons (I’m looking at you Joe, and you too, Jermaine) seem like they are actually sorta thrilled that the spotlight has been pointed upon them again and want to make the most out of it. Thanks for dying, MJ!

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And then there was this:

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Look, I feel for his three kids who are sure to objects of curiosity for the rest of their lives. But you don’t trot them out on stage into the glare of a spotlight after they just lost their weird dad. You cut to a quick shot of them sitting in the audience. Janet fixing her hair and telling her to speak up. Bitch, you should be ashamed! Ugh!

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4 Responses to “There Was The Expected Amount Of Creepiness At Michael Jackson’s Memorial”

  1. Golilith Says:

    J Harv, you said it with regard to Paris and that weirdo fam pushin’ her on the mic. Everyone else is talking about how touching it was and it all just creeped me out.

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  2. Cheri Says:

    I’m glad someone finally said it! It was gross how much it seemed his family members were basking in the attention. The tribute should have been about the deceased (freakshow or not) and not a talent show. ugh!

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  3. GERARD Says:

    I THINK THE REAL ISSUE IS THAT JHARVEY IS CLEARLY JEALOUS THAT MIKE JACKSON DIDNT PUT HIS COOL WHITE GLOVED FINGERS IN JHARVEYS BUM AS A KID HE WANTED TO SLEEPOVER AND RIDE THE ELEPHANTMAN SKELETON

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  4. I Feel Kinda Bad For Mrs. Jackson « J. Harvey Says:

    […] I'm not being a cooze, I really mean it.Katherine Jackson gave her first “How I feel about MJ dying” full-length interview to People, and she says that she doesn’t think Michael did any […]

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