Kristen Stewart Is Such A Surly, Complainy Little Bitch That Even The Things That She Says That Aren’t Surly And Bitchy Come Out Surly And Bitchy

Oh, the bitter taste of fame. And wealth. And general good fortune. Shut up.

Oh, the bitter taste of fame. And wealth. And general good fortune. Shut up.

What is it with this one? Remember at the Oscars when she was like coughing and looking like she wanted to be anywhere else in the world and every bitch across America was like “Then don’t be there, ho!” Every move this one makes is just fraught with grouch. Fuck, Kristen Stewart. If it’s that difficult for you being rich and famous, quit and move to wherever the hell Shelly Duvall hangs out now. Open a fucking pie shop and get laid in the back of an RV and have some crib midgets and save us from your stank.

As for my headline, case in point. Popsugar has some quotes from Kristen’s interview from Elle UK in which she talks about that shitty vampire series of movies (seriously, I still laugh when I think about the part of the trailer for the last one when she’s like in the Vatican and running through a fountain screaming and I’m like..really? Can Sookie, Bill, Tara, Angel, Buffy, and Spike kill this bitch soon? Please. Still haven’t seen either of these bullshit movies…). And you can just hear the mewling and mumbling in these quotes, and the eye rolling, and finger sucking. Hey Bella, fuck you. There’s about 13 jillion little actress types who would be grateful for the work. God, can she just have Renessme (isn’t that the name of the baby? Iesus! Spoiler.) and finish this once and for fucking all?

On her relationship with Robert: “People always ask me if I’m dating Robert. It’s beyond annoying . . . What I say is, that, why would I want anything that’s private to become entertainment for other people? This is what I wanted to show you on here. People say that if I just tell them everything I’ll be left alone, but God, you think if I tell people they’ll leave me alone? They pick up every little scrap, and that’s much worse.”

Hi, I can barely afford rent. And I eat pasta by necessity every once in awhile. Shut your whore mouth. Give me your job and I will give scraps til’ people don’t want my scraps no more. You are a CELEBRITY. When this shit is over, you will be crying for it back.

And here’s one in which she kinda sounds happy about Twilight’s success but then kinda shits on it. Read it and see if you feel the same way:

On Twilight growing into a series: “We never thought it was going to be so huge; we never thought we’d do a second, a third. I’m quite nervous about the third one, actually. It’s such a privilege to be able to play a role for so long. Also, it’s such a product now; it didn’t start out as a product. I read the first book and thought, ‘Wow, this is a page turner.’ There was something in the script — the energy. It’s raw desire, that’s what that book is. Which is why it’s weird that little kids read it. I’m like, ‘What are you thinking about when you’re reading it?’ I thought that it was going to be a really simple, overly dramatic — which was what was attractive about it — rotten love story. When they cast me it wasn’t like, ‘Omigod, I got this huge movie’; it was like, ‘OK, I got this film.’ You have to rev up to it.”

Like when she denounced it as product. I mean, she’s RIGHT and everything. But it’s the PRODUCT that’s keeping her in weed and not having to ride the subway with the rest of us savages. So celebrate that product.

Anyway, she sucks. Although there is a bit where she refers to her upbringing as positive and says that it’s the reason why she’s not as “off the rails” as Lohan. That was hot. She’s still in the red with me, but anything that might get Lindsay to try and set Bella’s lawn on fire and then get Tasered over it is at least trying with me.

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17 Responses to “Kristen Stewart Is Such A Surly, Complainy Little Bitch That Even The Things That She Says That Aren’t Surly And Bitchy Come Out Surly And Bitchy”

  1. GERARD Says:



  2. roodle Says:

    i love u j harvey


  3. Golilith Says:

    Keep your head up J Harv. Love and missed you.

    In re: to this post, she’s a stoopid beeyotch that can’t act. I’ve watched the movies and she’s beyond bad. If RPatz is with her in real life he’s as dumb as he is pretty.


  4. Lindsay Lohan’s Booze Monitoring Anklet Went Drinkin’ « J. Harvey Says:

    […] who the hell could remain sober at the MTV Movie Awards? Kristen Stewart‘s mean muggin’ would drive anyone to hunker down with the nearest bottle of […]


  5. jealousy is ur name Says:

    Jealous much? I happen to like Kristen much more than this blog. Never coming by again. Your an ass, a bitch, and just a plain jealous loser.


  6. dido Says:

    kristen steward is a whore, she like to sleep around. she is dumb, arrogant, disgusting. a few years from now, no one will give a shit.
    she is so ugly.she also smell


  7. naomi Says:

    kristen steward is a bitch


  8. shay Says:

    kristen steward is a bitch


  9. nina Says:

    kristen steward is a fucked up bitch,she cannot act at all. no one give a shit.


  10. testosterone supplements Says:

    Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on that. And he actually bought me lunch because I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!


  11. Ruslana Romanova Says:

    i think she is such a waste of time and an ugly untalented bitch.


  12. succumbingtomyawesomeness Says:

    thank you for making me laugh.


  13. rose Says:

    love this article and i agree with everything you said, only i find you a little too nice and polite with Kristen Stewart. whodoes she think she’s fooling with her ingenue look, she ain’t an ingenue who ddoesn’t care about money and success, that’s just an act, she’s a money grabber like the rest of them hollywood actors of today


  14. Liliana Says:

    Kristen is a total bitch.. She has no morals


  15. Joseph Says:

    Kscrew proved to the world that she’s nothing but a cheap whore and a bitch. She got famous only thanks to those stupid vampire movies and because she was dating R.Pattinson . At least if she had some talent, but she’s the most talentless actress, that I’ve ever seen in the movies.


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