I Can’t Believe I’m Writing About Gary Coleman, But His Widow Is Acting The Fool

The look on his face says it all. This might have been a suicide.

The look on his face says it all. This might have been a suicide.

As some of you are aware (despite Blanche Devereaux’s untimely passing eclipsing it like a parasol hides the face of a demure Southern belle, ok, bad analogy), Gary Coleman died. And it’s sad, because he died as sort of a running pop culture joke. A former child star who wanted to remain relevant but was only still popular because he was a former child star who wanted to remain relevant. And a former child star who would get into public fights with people mocking him, and marry publicity-thirsty slags (check the photo), and refuse to say “Whatchoo talkin’ bout, America?” when prodded. Who can blame him for wanting to hang onto his last shred of dignity, right?

Anyway, Gary’s ex-wife Shannon Price is some kinda bitch, because she is on an Arnold Drummond death tour and looking for scraps. And by scraps, I mean as much money as she can squeeze out of the little man’s death. The little man who, by the way, died sort of mysteriously after hitting his head during a fall at their home (supposedly it was a seizure?). You know this bitch tried to bite him with those monster chiclets and he was running away when he fell!

Anyway, Big Red took her clown act to Good Morning America this morning and continued to elude class and dignity by insisting that she was going to re-marry Gary (she wasn’t named in the will and they were divorced despite living together) and had nothing to do with his death. Oh, and during the interview, E! reports that she briefly halted it to fake a seizure. Girrrrllllll……

On the purported remarriage plans:

“We were gonna renew our vows soon but our health issues got in the way, so we weren’t able to do that. Every couple has their moments but we loved each other. It was golden. He was always my husband regardless of the divorce and what people say.”

On whether or not bitch offed him or took his ass off life support too soon (there was a rather odd 911 call that day):

“People can say whatever they want ’cause I know the truth. I would never hurt my husband, ever. I would take my own life before I would ever, ever harm him.

“The doctors advised me that, you know, it was grim and, you know, he went into cardiac arrest as well and the doctors advised me that this was the best thing for him.”

GMA wasn’t her first or last stop either. Ronald McDrummond was also spotted at Entertainment Tonight. Orly? Coleman’s body is currently on a slab at a mortuary in Utah. Until this bitch can figure out a way to work it into her traveling roadshow.  Stop. Now.

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2 Responses to “I Can’t Believe I’m Writing About Gary Coleman, But His Widow Is Acting The Fool”

  1. Amy Says:

    ” I would take my own life before I would ever, ever harm him.” MY ASS!!! Bitch was too concerned about being “traumatized” to even go press a towel to the back of his head while he was working on the whole bleeding to death thing!
    ” E! reports that she briefly halted it to fake a seizure.” Priceless.

    Like

  2. If Karma’s Real, This Bitch Is Going To End Up Eaten Alive By Mutant Rats « J. Harvey Says:

    […] so earlier today I filled you in on Gary Coleman‘s ex-wife (BUT THEY WERE PLANNING ON RE-MARRYING, GOD I THINK I FEEL A SEIZURE COMING ON, SOMEONE FETCH ME SOME…) taking his unfortunate death on the road to get herself some coin. And now, TMZ is reporting that […]

    Like

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