Open For Business

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I’m toying with blogging again. I’ve had lots of therapy. Hopefully my block is cleared. I’m just not sure what to write about. Little vignettes about my day? Even typing that made me want to shear off my face with something sharp. Posts about my hatred of things? I could write about celebrity bullshit, but did you guys know Michael K. at DListed hired me out of the blue to cover for him when he’s got the clap and it’s affecting his laptop? How fucking huge was that for my ass? So whenever there’s a holiday or he has a flare-up, it looks like I’ll be over there handling famous douche. I hope. FUCK, what if he decides I suck? That last thought was why I see a therapist once a week. Anyway, thay was a fucking dream come true. And ironic, seeing as in the post where I closed this blog, I noted that he was a way better writer than I am. Still true, but if you can’t beat em – beat them off.

I could post secrets people told me, but thinly veil them. SHROUD THEM. So “fucked his husband” becomes “got that used on Craigslist.” 

The posts about what I saw on the T were pretty popular. But now I pay for parking. Did you guys know I work with my future husband…

OH SHIT, THIS COULD BE A TOTALLY BORING BLOG ABOUT HOW I’M GETTING MARRIED IN OCTOBER. It could be like one of those bride blogs where I tell you about how the sand in that centerpiece was imported from Revere Beach. Smokin’ butts. Tannin’.

I need to keep my peabrain busy, so I guess I’ll just post about whatever strikes my fancy. Here’s where I make a promise to myself (I PROMISE TO TRY, BUT IT FEELS LIKE A LIE. I still think Like A Prayer is her best album.) to post once a week. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH. That’ll happen. 

Has anyone had Mrs. Fields cookies that come individually wrapped in a box. Shit, those are good.

I need a new banner. I am taking submissions.

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12 Responses to “Open For Business”

  1. meanlittlebumblebee Says:

    I’m so fucking happy you’re back and if need be will contribute towards a Kickstarter to keep this going. Any J Harvey, you’re right up there with Michael K in my book so write about ANYTHING and I’ll go fangirl crazy like that girl on American Idol who cried over Sanjaya. YOU are my Sanjaya.

    Now let’s see if Gerard comes out of hiding…

    Like

  2. Cheri M Says:

    YAY!!! I vote for some recaps!! I still laugh over the one about Nip/Tuck and Joan Van Ark’s face.

    Like

  3. leilah Says:

    Co-sign meanlittlebb and Cheri M: just so damn happy you’re back you could describe the moles on your neck and I’m thrilled…well, for your second post….
    Recaps, recaps, recaps
    Cappin’, cappin’, cappin’ (there’s some old slang)
    Snark, bitch, eye-rollin’, etc.
    Shout-outs to blogs you/we love (how ’bout TomandLorenzo? Picked up on PR where you left off…)

    And for continued therapy, verbally-decapitating everyone who pisses you off during the wedding planning.

    It’s like an addiction (so I’ve heard): you cut me off so abruptly, I’ve been existing on sugar-fixes — so, at this point, even some so-so stuff could get me off!

    Like

  4. irishdaisy Says:

    Oh god!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! I just randomly clicked on my favorites toolbar to see if you might be back and.. oh joy! Please write hateful things. I love it. Also, I’ve been a fan since Socialite Life recaps. I miss them so. Maybe that will strike your fancy? (Here’s your one chance, don’t let me down). So glad you’re back. 🙂

    Like

  5. natasiarose Says:

    Welcome back and congrats on your engagement!

    Like

  6. GERARD Says:

    I THINK OUT OF THE THREE THE CHUNKY WHITE BLONED CHICK IN THE BACK IS MY FAVORITE BECAUSE BIGGER TITTS

    Like

  7. Bill Cosby Says:

    J. Harvey’s The Bridezilla Monologues. Sheesh, you follow a guy home from a log rolling party and BLAMMO … marriage. I’d hate to see how often you let him cut loose in your hair.
    Welcome back, Fancy Lad.

    Like

  8. GERARD Says:

    DONT BE A DICKFACE WRITE ANOTHER POST YOUASS

    Like

  9. Tazzybehr Says:

    My biggest literary inspiration outside of Erma B. doth return to a grateful throng of hungry fans!

    Thanx be!

    Like

  10. GERARD Says:

    THATS ALL THEN A PIC OF THREE CHUBBY GIRLS AND NO MORE YOU LAZY CHUBBY GIRL

    Like

  11. Golilith Says:

    welcome back j harv! congrats on the wedding. can’t wait to read your bitches, moans, snarks, loves, hates. Loved it when we found you on Dlisted. This just made my day!

    Like

  12. cloudsinmycoffee Says:

    welcome back!! so nice to see you in writing again (hooray!)

    Like

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