“I would do it for the exercise,” she said. “Making yourself dance everyday for six hours a day I think would be so great.”
I only watched DWTS when Joey Fatone was on and bouncing that big linebacker ass around like he was sending me a message in morse code. That message was “Dot Dot Dash, J. Harvey take this ass.” Apparently, security at DWTS wasn’t apprised of his sexy invitation to me. Do you know that those Taser things have barbs and get hooked in your skin? Damn!
Back to Joan. This summer I checked out Piece of Work, which follows a year in Joan’s life documentary-style. And let me tell you this. While the rest of you are choosing between Value Menu Option #2 and #6 so you don’t have to cook when you get home, Ms. Rivers is trekking her ancient ass to the wastelands of Alaska to perform comedy for three loggers and a legless Inuit woman! BITCH WORKS! She hustles! Seriously, she’s in her late 70s and works EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is why the older generation has one up on us, their work ethic is pretty much unparalleled. Joan realizes she has to pay for her upkeep, because her apartment looks like Versailles. No lie. You expect Kirsten Dunst to run by holding her hoop skirt out while a Strokes song plays in the background as Joan shows off her hovel.
I grew to admire her. She was pretty much ahead of her time. Perhaps realizing that she wasn’t the most beautiful woman in the world, she decided to be the most honest. She was rifling off abortion jokes on daytime talk shows in the early 70s! You didn’t do that back then, especially if you were a woman. A lot of people find Joan to be a disgusting whore and well yeah, but still. She blazed a trail for ALL of these other funny chicks.
Plus I was thrilled when I noted that she keeps a library card catalog filing system full of jokes in her office! It spans a wall! Who doesn’t like a Dewey Decimal system of anal sex jokes told by a woman in her 70s?