So I finally caught up with ProjRun last night (my brother got married and it’s been kind of a whirlwind of booze…I mean, familial love) and something cemented inside of my tiny heart. My disdain for Nicolas, aka “The Feather Prince”.
Here’s a video of him in his natural environment…I guess he lives and works there in NYC (is it the East Village, you know where all the punks he hung out with that inspire him lived? big, big *eye roll*)….and you only have to watch a couple of seconds before you want to swing a sewing machine (Brother, of course, thanks Lifetime!) at his face, too. Have you ever wanted to choke a bitch with his own sparkly scarf so much before?
Vodpod videos no longer available.
I have my reasons. I think his designs (EXCEPT for the lace bodysuit which put me in a rocket to the Planet Tacky and for that I am eternally grateful, the fucking lace went over her shoes!) are boring and look cheap. For an example of how an Eastern European or Russian (what is he?) accented person can make quality clothing, look over at Giordano? Godiva? Geodesic? The broad in the corner….she doesn’t say much but she can make firm threads. He should adopt that stance. Instead, he’s a puckered asshole that speaks.
Seriously, at the start of every challenge, he will recite the challenge to us and then piss about it. Look, they’re all going to be zany and hard. This is Project Runway…on Lifetime no less. All of the good writers (I use that term loosely) stayed at Bravo and now you’re dealing with the people who are bringing you Sherri Shepherd in a sitcom. None of these challenges are going to make sense, so just shove a lock of that limp redhead stepchild fag hair in your mouth and shut the hell up.
Also, what is with the FUCKING LEAN INTO THE CAMERA. Scholiosis? Did a spanking session go awry and his top damaged a cheek?? I don’t need you to lean toward me to tell me something confidentially, girlfriend. I suspect you smell like Preparation H. Lean the eff back! Gangsta lean? Mo lean! Is that you, mo lean?
And he’s sooooooooooo judgey. Just keep your eyes on your own paper dress horror, you knob. Christ. It’s “punk.” Apparently, not. Apparently, it’s arthropod. The Feather Prince wouldn’t know punk if it gobbed in his face and then Darby Crash hit him with a mikestand. Oh, I even wanted to punch the picture of him when he was young. He’s just…there’s no sense of humor (except for the lace bodysuit, it’s the only redeeming thing he’s ever done in his life).
There’s just big gaping vagine. I’m done with his ass. Which I’m sure all his first dates can concur with. Looks 4, hair 2, personality 0. I’m drunk, so just lube up, bend and I can get a taxi. And remind me to avoid that club I met you in next time, Russian Tea Dance.
Also, I don’t truck with people selling each other out on the runway unless they came at you first. I didn’t like it when psychotic feline thrower and all around hateful freckle juice Kenley did it, and I don’t like it now. Yeah, the rotund little coward bitch lied his weepy ass off. But keep it to yourself and make your statement through your clothes. Let go, and let Tim! Oh, and I hate your hair, Nicolas. Get a perm or something. You douche.
p.s. Speaking of….
This little ball of pathetic should be ashamed of himself. Lies, lies, lies! Man, if you weren’t up to the challenge and needed some more time reconciling with the fact that the most interesting thing about you is your meth addiction, then take it. What a penis. Have you ever seen Tim Gunn cut someone’s ass up like that after he walked out the door? I haven’t. Tim was NOT having it.That’s kind of a big deal because the Gunn man is usually in everyone’s corner (or ON their corner during one of his famous 3 AM mistakes).
I’ve really only heard him throw serious shade on one contestant ever and that was the previously mentioned Kenley. And now weepy little John-John. When he sat there and had basically given up, I was appalled. And then he lied! And then said quitting drugs was easier than being on the show through tears. Other people who have quit drugs think you suck, Meth Bear.
Hey, one thing can be said. At least this episode actually caught my interest. Which is something to be said considering the overall quality this season.
By the way? Can Kors and Nina Garcia come into work please? There’s a lot piling up on their desks…damn.