Archive for the ‘The Scariest Picture I Have Ever Seen’ Category

That’s The Situation. Hee.

July 23, 2010

That’s The Situation in back, making me hot for turtlenecks. I wanna get up in yo turtleneck, baby. Your brothers’ turtlenecks, too. Can I try that on? I don’t know if my big melon will fit through it, but your family’s individual eyebrows situations did. Get that Dakota Fanning from Jersey looking-broad outta here, she’s killing the mood.

The Scariest Picture I Have Ever Seen: You Don’t Let Fanboys Breed!

July 18, 2010

Someone call Gotham City DSS!

Michelle Williams ought to be ashamed of herself. I think I laughed for a full five minutes after seeing this pic. She’s going to be rolling her eyes over this one for the rest of her life. Or crying because Dad dressed her up like….a male, scar-faced, psychopathic killer in clown makeup who then put on nurse drag? You don’t do that to your children!

The Scariest Picture I’ve Ever Seen: Tom Brady’s New Hairpiece

June 15, 2010
Um....

Um....

Do you-? I….not sure. Why would….can someone….? Maybe his wife….

We are NEVER going to win another Superbowl.

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The Scariest Picture I Have Ever Seen: Girl Riding A Croc

October 1, 2009

1920s-girl-riding-an-alligator-9452-1254381428-33

I would rather she be WEARING Crocs! Where was Teddy Roosevelt while this was going on?!?! This is like that fable about the fable person who rides the scorpion across the river and the scorpion eats the fable person because it’s about wisdom. That croc is gonna buck that baby off its back and swallow her face! Where is her jazz baby mother? Probably busy with Dadaism, and her cigarette holder, and the electric lightbulb, and bootlegging!

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a terror scene about reptiles..specifically crocodiles and alligators. You only see their eyes above the water as they wait for you to fall out of the canoe. They can run fast. And I read somewhere (probably in Us Weekly) that they can climb trees. So good luck surviving! I am about to make like Cher, turn back time, and kick her flapper mother’s ass for allowing this shyt! Boo, bytch, boo!

(from Buzzfeed)

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The Scariest Picture I Have Ever Seen: Star Trek/Clown Sweaters

August 6, 2009
Girl bye to the Borg, this is worse!

Girl bye to the Borg, this is worse!

Yeah, I know it’s a Photoshop job, but still – CREEPS. Star Trek kinda gives me the willies anyways with all the allegories and women in skintight unitards but this makes me want to smash the transporter with an axe and make sure these clown sweater-wearing mouthbreathers will never find me. Though, Worf’s inadvertent Afro kinda suits the needlework. This is from one of my favorite comics writers Warren Ellis, by way of Wil Wheaton.

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