Posts Tagged ‘Mel Gibson’

“You should just f*cking smile, and blow me.”

July 12, 2010

(ed. note – this is NOT safe for work. Use headphones, and brace yourself.)

From the depths of evil, a heavy-breathing devil rang up Oksana Grigorieva, and verbally set her cellphone on fire with his anger. Radar has now provided us with part two, in which it gets death-threaty and he freely admits he beat on her. If you want to listen to it, here you go.

My favorite part? When Oksana informs (I swear she’s grinning through this..) Mel Gibson that he needs meds, he responds with “WHAT!? WHAT!? I NEED A WOMAN! Not a little girl with a fucking dysfunctional cunt!”

Which is EXACTLY what I told MY therapist when he had the gall…!

I don’t think they’re going to get back together. Especially when he threatens to bury her in the rose garden and tells her she deserved her teeth knocked out. This is some crazy shit. He sounds like Skeletor and this kid had a furious baby. At one point, he gets so worked up that he can only take heaving breaths. You almost feel sorry for the woman-beating, racist twat…if only because there is a spacious padded cell with his name emblazoned on the door in his future. Right? Maybe a little sorry? Eh…

Here’s Mel Gibson Sounding Enraged And Coked Out Of His Mind

July 12, 2010

[redlasso id=”d135898c-f6f7-4bbb-b5d4-4bc6c46565fb”]

First off, you might want to turn the volume down on this bitch because if you’re at your office, someone might thing you’re being attacked in your cubicle by a crazy with racial issues. Or if you’re at home, the kids might think Daddy got into some blow and had a life-changer before he got home. Here’s Mel Gibson making a strong case for a muscle relaxant to be administered or a straight jacket to be tried on in a taped phone call to ex Oksana Grigorieva. Radar acquired the tape.

He flips out about her alleged “foreign bodies” (aka breast implants), and tells the mother of his child that she’s a whore and looks like a “bitch on heat” (which makes her sound like she’s on a stove). My favorite part is when he tells her that her clothes are so slutty that he can see her vagina from the back (it’s like x-Ray ‘gina vision)!

And of course he makes his now infamous comment implying that black guys are running around looking for ladies to rape as a group sporting event.

Why do I get the impression this chick was smiling the entire time as she listened to his mania and watched the recorder’s digital time read-out increase?

Mel Gibson Admitted Chris Brown-ing His Ex On Tape

July 8, 2010

As soon as I got the evil drunken overbite look, I woulda been out the door...

And he wasn’t exactly apologetic about it. Which I almost admire him for. If you’re going to be a psychotic racist woman beater, it’s almost better if you don’t simper about it in a bid to keep your fanbase afterwards. Just tell her she deserved it. Like Mel Gibson did!

Oksana Grigorieva was somehow able to keep her wits about her (despite Melly Mel reportedly knocking two teeth out of her mouth with his Christian fists while she was allegedly holding their newborn daughter Lucia, by the by) and basically taped every hideous thing that came out of his Holocaust-denying mouth. Including this gem, courtesy of Radar:

On tape, a teary Oksana is heard asking Mel, “What kind of a man is that who would hit a woman when she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face?

“What kind of a man is that?” the Russian musician repeats.

The Braveheart star responds: “You know what — you f**cking deserved it.”

That’s sweet. Hands if we think Mel needs to retire to a shanty over near Ayers Rock to await a dingo eating his evil face? Seriously, this is why I don’t trust overtly religious people who build their own churches and start their own congregations. Because they’re usually crazy or evil. Or just evil. CREVIL?

Oh, and Oksana also is said to have a DVD in her collection (next to Bird On A Wire!) which contains photos of her post-Mel’s “teachings from the Lord” (i.e. face all jacked up after he beat her).

And props to Oksana, because he might have cost her a couple of teeth but bitch is getting hers. Bend over, Mel. Oskana’s strap-on says CAREER FAIL all over it.

p.s. Ok, I just did some research. And did you know that Mel’s upcoming film features him starring as a dude who only communicates via a BEAVER PUPPET ON HIS HAND? And that Jodie Foster directed it? That sounds so awful that I think….the bad publicity might actually HELP ticket sales if they release it? You know your movie needs artificial resuscitation if your star punching the mother of his child in the face and then telling her she deserves it might actually get it to a Redbox in the Wal-Mart.

Mel Gibson Said WHAT?!?!

July 1, 2010

Feel free to pull that trigger, Dan.

Feel free to pull that trigger, Dan.

Sugartits himself didn’t get the message the first time he was caught in a racist-ass meltdown and he’s gone back to the “Fuck, did they get that on tape?” buffet.

The story is that Mel Gibson and his post-divorce impregnated jumpoff , Oksana Grigorieva, are currently embroiled in a restraining order swordfight. And Oksana just jabbed her sword up his ass by providing the court with tapes she recorded of Mel being verbally abusive about the way she dressed. And don’t think he didn’t drop the N-bomb when he thought he was behind closed doors. So black people can now join our Jewish friends in driving by and throwing flaming bags of feces on Mel’s reputation.

Radar says that the following gems are on tape for the divorce court’s delight. Can Oksana just order diamond tiara now or does she have to wait until this is notarized?

“You’re an embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.

“How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so fucking nice.”

“I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first.”

“Look what you did to me… look what you are… look what every part of you is… fucking fake… fucking fake. You are the most synthetic person… who the fuck are you?”

That first one is nice. Does Danny Glover know that Mel feels that way? Would Danny and his “pack” show up to rehearsal and rub Mel’s racist ass the wrong way on the set of Lethal Weapon 1 – Aught Four or something?

Mel’s done, right? This would be “done?”

And next time I want to get blown, I’ m telling Scotty that I’m setting the apartment on fire. Does that actually work? Anyone?

Sugartits With Child: Mel Gibson, Pregnant!

May 26, 2009

And you were totally thinking we need more anti-semitic rich people in the world! Mel Gibson, 53, confirmed for that big jaw person last night that his girlfriend Oksana Gregorieva (Mel says she’s 39) has the next David Dukes in her womb.

Gibson’s now on the “I Got Sober And Sane, And I Love Me Some Jews” tour of our hearts and he showed up for Leno’s godawful show all clean and shaven and not looking like this:

Mel-Gibson-Mental-Illness

Or this, which I like to call “Doc Holliday Will Shoot You In The Nuts”:

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Mel compared himself to the Octo-Mom, seeing as he already has seven children with his ex-wife Robyn. And you know those kids are SCRAMBLING to make sure new baby doesn’t get that Lethal Weapon money!

Robyn appears to have smartened up three years ago and said it’s a wrap on the marriage way back when, according to the not at all celebrity pandering People.

“My wife and I, our marriage ended three years ago and we’ve been separated ever since then,” Gibson said. “These things happen. It’s unfortunate, it’s sad, but you know she is an admirable woman – we still got kids together. We’re friends.”

Shockingly, Leno (who usually has his face firmly planted in the asses of many a celebrity and he’s so fawning and gross that you want to bust a tire iron over his forehead) asked him why his marriage went over the balcony. This must have been some sort of pre-approved question. Mel ‘fessed up because he wants to keep the public sympathy on his side in case he ever does a movie again, and admitted he was in the wrong:

“Look. When it’s all said and done, I did a pretty good hatchet job on my marriage myself. I’m to blame. If you’re inclined to judge, put it here.”

I need more than that. I need “Well, I don’t believe the Holocaust ever happened, and if it did – those Jews are mighty annoying. You know they control the world’s media and were responsible for 9/11, right? Damn, Jews. Robyn was obviously a sympathizer. When I built my Jew-hating church in California, I tried to buy the ashes of Holocaust victims to spread around it to keep Jews away but I couldn’t find them on EBay and the zoning board had some sort of problem with it. You know, fuck the zoning board, Jay, they are obviously all Jews. Oh, and I drink a little.”

Nevertheless, the J. Harvey Floozie with Ambition award for 2009 goes to Ms. Oksana Gregorieva for making sure that she’s set for life.  She’s a “musician.” Hee. She played his crazy racist penis like an oboe and started the spending! You make sure that nursery is painted with gold flakes, honey!

Mel Gibson’s Wife Had Enough Of “Sugartits”

April 15, 2009

mel-gibson-mental-illnessA new story in venerable celeb bible People relates for us the reasons why Mel Gibson‘s wife Robyn might have said Audi to his crazy, drunk ass after 28 years of marriage and enough kids to make Angelina and Nadya either salivate or yell at their ovaries for not keeping up.

It turns out that making the flick Apocalypto deep in the jungles of Mexico in 2006 is what turned Gibson from handsome jokey actor/slightly annoying homophobe to bearded, drunken anti-Semite crazy.

Apparently, heavy storms kept delaying the production so Mel would just hole up in a hut and drink and probably scribble the names of concentration camps on the walls. Gibson was always a little iffy, what with the Jesus freak bit on the downlow, the barely tolerating homos in an industry filled with them and the revisionist history Nazi Dad. But apparently he went full-blown Fitzcarraldo/Heart of Darkness.

Mel was under tremendous pressure while filming [his epic Central American drama] Apocalypto in Mexico. The movie got delayed because of terrible rainstorms, and Mel and his crew stayed in the Mexican jungle for weeks during bad conditions. Mel’s drinking got out of control because it was very difficult for him to deal with the pressure of producing the movie.”

I can’t blame him for that. There’s snakes and people with blowguns and did you know that hippos will attack your ass? They’re not the fat little friendlies as portrayed in the kids’ books. They will rip your head off. I’d drink too, behind my heavily fortified hut walls.

So when Mel got back from being down river with the natives and probably smoking tainted banana skins or what have you, he sat in the house. And drank. A lot. Like J. Harvey levels. And Mellie Mel (as we and the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s department are aware) isn’t a happy drunk.

The source adds: “Mel’s family had no control over his drinking and were instead afraid of his bad, unpredictable temper.” At that time, “Mel rarely left the house [on location] for other things than business meetings.”

In July of 06, Gibson has his now infamous DUI arrest and confrontation with the cops – in which he revealed that he has an issue with Jewish people and is fond of the term “sugartits” when it comes to referring to the women in blue.

Things devolved after that and it turns out that’s when his wife Robyn said enough already (I would have said it when he told me he wanted to build his own church and film a gruesome movie about a bloody Jesus in which he wanted to blame the Jews for everything). They have seven children, and only one is still a minor – Thomas, 9. So they’ve been separated since aught 6 and it’s only recently gone public that he’s been living solo in his own house of the crazy beard.

Robyn needs to get that cash money, and get it now. You put up with a bearded, drunk psychotic for that long. Sure, he didn’t always have the mountain man face thing going on, but he probably wasn’t a peach during Bird On A Wire and shit, either. A mullet and an attitude is almost as bad as a drunk beard.